Why is it that I sometimes feel agitated and unsettled in the middle of an everyday situation? The jittery feeling inside feels like buzzing, like I want to crawl right out of my skin. Is it too much caffeine? Is it an unsettled urgency in my spirit about something that I’m not quite conscious of?
Repentance is the turning away from the path that leads to destruction. It’s saying, “I’m sorry.” And really meaning it.
In my agitated state, I need the Holy Spirit to show me where I need to change. Can I be humble enough to say, “You’re right. Your ways are not my ways and your thoughts are not my thoughts. I’m so sorry for my pride. That’s what has kept me from turning to you and walking with you.”
I’m sorry for my pride, my stubbornness, my gossip, my lack of compassion, my self-centeredness, my arrogance, my unkind words, my silence, my irreverence, my complaints, my entitlement, my smug attitude, my disregard for the feelings of others, my impatience, my self-importance, my jealousy, my hypocrisy, my laziness.
I’ll stop there. Even Paul who wrote half of the New Testament kept some things between him and God. He called it the thorn in his side.
I don’t think I can muster the focus to change all that is wrong in my heart at the same time. But I’m also not sure that this process is all about me mustering strength, or focus, or resolve. Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yep, I totally take advice from short green fictional creatures. Except Oscar the Grouch. I have my limits.
So, instead of trying and failing I am going to make another commitment. Along with my commitment to read the Bible every day, I am going to make a daily habit of confessing and repenting. That’s church speak for admitting where I’ve messed up and turning away from whatever has tripped me up. It’s like spiritually taking out the trash. If I do it every day, it won’t have time to stink up the whole place.
Psalm 141:4 “Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil.”
Instead, let my heart be drawn to God.